3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
