Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
