My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
