We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
