my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
vagina is talking i cant
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
