I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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