So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
