I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
