I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
