i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
