Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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