He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize