You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize