In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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