what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
