If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
