there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
