Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
