Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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