so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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