Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
