I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
