do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
