I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
