I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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