Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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