there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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