Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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