So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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