I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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