haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
