i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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