Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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