Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
