I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't turn off my feet"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
