I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
