went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
