i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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