Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
