I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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