We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
