So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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