Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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