I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
