Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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