sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
