john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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