I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
