have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
