oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
