we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I want is dick and wine.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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