Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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