Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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