my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
