Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
