Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
