i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize