I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
